{"product_id":"sucking-dick-i-d-rather-be-sucking-down-marlboro-cigarettes-and-dick","title":"Sucking Dick? I’d rather be sucking down Marlboro Cigarettes... and dick.","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"305\" data-end=\"378\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"307\" data-end=\"378\"\u003eFunny Sticker – “Sucking Dick? I’d Rather Be Sucking Down Marlboro”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"307\" data-end=\"378\"\u003eThis \u003cstrong data-start=\"561\" data-end=\"578\"\u003efunny sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e isn’t subtle. It’s the exact opposite of subtle. It’s a nicotine-stained middle finger to good taste, small talk, and every beige Toyota Camry that’s ever tailgated you.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"380\" data-end=\"554\"\u003eThere’s bold.\u003cbr data-start=\"393\" data-end=\"396\"\u003eThere’s brash.\u003cbr data-start=\"410\" data-end=\"413\"\u003eAnd then there’s \u003cem data-start=\"430\" data-end=\"444\"\u003ethis sticker\u003c\/em\u003e — a cigarette-smoking skeleton proudly announcing they’re living their truth, nicotine-first, decorum-last.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"752\" data-end=\"755\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"757\" data-end=\"810\"\u003e💀 \u003cstrong data-start=\"763\" data-end=\"810\"\u003eA Love Letter to Bad Habits \u0026amp; Good Branding\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"812\" data-end=\"973\"\u003eSome people have “Live, Laugh, Love.”\u003cbr data-start=\"849\" data-end=\"852\"\u003eYou? You’ve got \u003cstrong data-start=\"868\" data-end=\"973\"\u003e“Sucking Dick? I’d rather be sucking down the smooth, rich taste of Marlboro Cigarettes \u0026amp; also dick.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"975\" data-end=\"1261\"\u003eThis\u003cstrong data-start=\"980\" data-end=\"1004\"\u003e bumper sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e is the highway manifesto for the unfiltered among us — those who know irony is an art form, and tragedy goes best with a menthol. The cigarette-smoking skeleton design says it all: timeless, classy, and ready to crawl out of its coffin for one last drag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1263\" data-end=\"1457\"\u003eStick it on your car, your cooler, your casket — anywhere that could use a little existential spice and a reminder that you, too, are a nicotine-powered gremlin with impeccable comedic timing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1459\" data-end=\"1462\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1464\" data-end=\"1521\"\u003e🚗 \u003cstrong data-start=\"1470\" data-end=\"1521\"\u003eFunny Bumper Sticker Energy, 100% Frog-Approved\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1523\" data-end=\"1599\"\u003eFrog Mustard doesn’t make “cute.”\u003cbr data-start=\"1556\" data-end=\"1559\"\u003eWe make chaos that sticks — literally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1601\" data-end=\"1802\"\u003eThis \u003cstrong data-start=\"1606\" data-end=\"1630\"\u003efunny bumper sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e tells every Prius in a 3-mile radius that you contain multitudes: you’re horny \u003cem data-start=\"1710\" data-end=\"1715\"\u003eand\u003c\/em\u003e addicted to Marlboros. A poet. A visionary. Possibly barred from your local Denny’s.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1804\" data-end=\"2020\"\u003eEach sticker is printed on thick, glossy, \u003cstrong data-start=\"1846\" data-end=\"1868\"\u003eweatherproof vinyl\u003c\/strong\u003e — tough enough to handle UV rays, rainstorms, and judgmental glares from PTA moms. It’s a work of art that’ll hold up longer than most relationships.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2022\" data-end=\"2025\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2027\" data-end=\"2086\"\u003e🔥 \u003cstrong data-start=\"2033\" data-end=\"2086\"\u003eVinyl Sticker or Car Magnet? Choose Your Fighter.\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2088\" data-end=\"2109\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2092\" data-end=\"2109\"\u003eVinyl Sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2110\" data-end=\"2280\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2110\" data-end=\"2156\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2112\" data-end=\"2156\"\u003eGlossy, vibrant, and permanently unhinged.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2157\" data-end=\"2200\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2159\" data-end=\"2200\"\u003ePrinted on premium, UV-laminated vinyl.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2201\" data-end=\"2280\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2203\" data-end=\"2280\"\u003eSlaps onto your bumper, laptop, or cigarette case with purpose and passion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2282\" data-end=\"2300\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2286\" data-end=\"2300\"\u003eCar Magnet\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2301\" data-end=\"2520\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2301\" data-end=\"2331\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2303\" data-end=\"2331\"\u003eSame art, zero commitment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2332\" data-end=\"2416\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2334\" data-end=\"2416\"\u003eIndustrial-grade 30 mil magnet strength — because your chaos deserves stability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2417\" data-end=\"2520\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2419\" data-end=\"2520\"\u003ePop it on your car when you’re feeling feral; pull it off when you have to drive Grandma to church.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2522\" data-end=\"2667\"\u003eWhether you go sticker or magnet, you’re getting that \u003cstrong data-start=\"2576\" data-end=\"2592\"\u003eFrog Mustard\u003c\/strong\u003e promise: unapologetically weird, built to last, and perfectly offensive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2669\" data-end=\"2672\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2674\" data-end=\"2731\"\u003e💨 \u003cstrong data-start=\"2680\" data-end=\"2731\"\u003eA Weatherproof Sticker That Outlasts Your Lungs\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2733\" data-end=\"2859\"\u003eOur \u003cstrong data-start=\"2737\" data-end=\"2762\"\u003eweatherproof stickers\u003c\/strong\u003e don’t flake, fade, or crumble under pressure — unlike your willpower at a gas station counter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2861\" data-end=\"2892\"\u003eThey’re laminated to survive:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2893\" data-end=\"3008\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2893\" data-end=\"2901\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2895\" data-end=\"2901\"\u003eRain\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2902\" data-end=\"2909\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2904\" data-end=\"2909\"\u003eSun\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2910\" data-end=\"2923\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2912\" data-end=\"2923\"\u003eRoad grit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2924\" data-end=\"2947\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2926\" data-end=\"2947\"\u003eExistential despair\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2948\" data-end=\"3008\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2950\" data-end=\"3008\"\u003eEvery single “that’s inappropriate” look you’ll ever get\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3010\" data-end=\"3185\"\u003eEach one is printed in-house with premium eco-solvent inks that deliver sharp color and unholy energy. Your skeleton? Crisp. Your Marlboro? Glowing. Your vibe? Chaotic-good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3187\" data-end=\"3190\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3192\" data-end=\"3251\"\u003e🪦 \u003cstrong data-start=\"3198\" data-end=\"3251\"\u003eWhy This Design Slaps Harder Than a Nicotine Buzz\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3253\" data-end=\"3429\"\u003eBecause it’s \u003cstrong data-start=\"3266\" data-end=\"3275\"\u003efunny\u003c\/strong\u003e — but it’s also art.\u003cbr data-start=\"3296\" data-end=\"3299\"\u003eIt’s absurdist Americana. It’s a love letter to bad decisions, late-night drive-thrus, and coping mechanisms wrapped in sarcasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3431\" data-end=\"3558\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"3435\" data-end=\"3452\"\u003efunny sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e reads like something a drunk cowboy would tattoo on his ribcage at 3 a.m. And that’s exactly the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3560\" data-end=\"3643\"\u003ePeople don’t buy this because it’s tasteful.\u003cbr data-start=\"3604\" data-end=\"3607\"\u003eThey buy it because it’s \u003cem data-start=\"3632\" data-end=\"3640\"\u003ehonest\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3645\" data-end=\"3648\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3650\" data-end=\"3705\"\u003e🐸 \u003cstrong data-start=\"3656\" data-end=\"3705\"\u003eMade by Frog Mustard – Sticker Lords of Chaos\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3707\" data-end=\"3933\"\u003eAt Frog Mustard, we specialize in \u003cstrong data-start=\"3741\" data-end=\"3766\"\u003efunny bumper stickers\u003c\/strong\u003e and magnets that make people laugh, honk, or file complaints.\u003cbr data-start=\"3828\" data-end=\"3831\"\u003eWe’re proudly based in the PNW, where the rain never stops, and neither does our questionable humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3935\" data-end=\"4160\"\u003eEvery design is made by actual human degenerates with caffeine addictions and a printer that’s seen too much.\u003cbr data-start=\"4044\" data-end=\"4047\"\u003eWe test everything in real life — on cars, fridges, laptops, and the occasional emotional support water bottle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4162\" data-end=\"4256\"\u003eIf you want boring, go buy an “Eat Pray Love” magnet.\u003cbr data-start=\"4215\" data-end=\"4218\"\u003eIf you want \u003cem data-start=\"4230\" data-end=\"4238\"\u003eiconic\u003c\/em\u003e, grab this one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"4258\" data-end=\"4261\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"4263\" data-end=\"4299\"\u003e🧃 \u003cstrong data-start=\"4269\" data-end=\"4299\"\u003eReal Specs (For the Nerds)\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"4301\" data-end=\"4660\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4301\" data-end=\"4365\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4303\" data-end=\"4365\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4303\" data-end=\"4318\"\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 8.5″ × 3″ — standard Frog Mustard chaos size\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4366\" data-end=\"4433\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4368\" data-end=\"4433\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4368\" data-end=\"4381\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e Thick laminated vinyl or heavy-duty 30 mil magnet\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4434\" data-end=\"4481\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4436\" data-end=\"4481\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4436\" data-end=\"4447\"\u003eFinish:\u003c\/strong\u003e Glossy with vivid, crisp colors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4482\" data-end=\"4514\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4484\" data-end=\"4514\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4484\" data-end=\"4501\"\u003eWeatherproof:\u003c\/strong\u003e Absolutely\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4515\" data-end=\"4577\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4517\" data-end=\"4577\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4517\" data-end=\"4532\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/strong\u003e Up to 5 years outdoors or 10 years indoors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4578\" data-end=\"4660\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4580\" data-end=\"4660\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4580\" data-end=\"4591\"\u003eDesign:\u003c\/strong\u003e Skeleton with a cig, Marlboro-core typography, existential swagger\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"4662\" data-end=\"4665\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"4667\" data-end=\"4712\"\u003e🧩 \u003cstrong data-start=\"4673\" data-end=\"4712\"\u003eHow to Apply (or Deploy Your Chaos)\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"4714\" data-end=\"4892\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4714\" data-end=\"4738\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4717\" data-end=\"4738\"\u003eClean your surface.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4739\" data-end=\"4761\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4742\" data-end=\"4761\"\u003ePeel the backing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4762\" data-end=\"4810\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4765\" data-end=\"4810\"\u003eStick firmly (or slap, we’re not the cops).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4811\" data-end=\"4863\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4814\" data-end=\"4863\"\u003eStep back. Light a cigarette. Admire your work.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4864\" data-end=\"4892\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4867\" data-end=\"4892\"\u003eWhisper, “This is art.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"4894\" data-end=\"4897\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"4899\" data-end=\"4948\"\u003e🚬 \u003cstrong data-start=\"4905\" data-end=\"4948\"\u003eFunny Bumper Sticker Keywords in Action\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"4950\" data-end=\"5261\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4950\" data-end=\"5025\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4952\" data-end=\"5025\"\u003eThis \u003cstrong data-start=\"4957\" data-end=\"4981\"\u003efunny bumper sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e turns every drive into a statement piece.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"5026\" data-end=\"5095\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5028\" data-end=\"5095\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"5032\" data-end=\"5049\"\u003evinyl sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e version is bold, durable, and unapologetic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"5096\" data-end=\"5160\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5098\" data-end=\"5160\"\u003ePrefer flexibility? The \u003cstrong data-start=\"5122\" data-end=\"5136\"\u003ecar magnet\u003c\/strong\u003e makes chaos portable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"5161\" data-end=\"5261\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5163\" data-end=\"5261\"\u003eEvery version is a \u003cstrong data-start=\"5182\" data-end=\"5206\"\u003eweatherproof sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e, built for road rage and nicotine withdrawals alike.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"5263\" data-end=\"5266\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"5268\" data-end=\"5281\"\u003e❓ \u003cstrong data-start=\"5273\" data-end=\"5281\"\u003eFAQs\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"5283\" data-end=\"5331\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5287\" data-end=\"5329\"\u003e1. Is this funny sticker weatherproof?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5332\" data-end=\"5461\"\u003eAbsolutely. It’s a \u003cstrong data-start=\"5351\" data-end=\"5375\"\u003eweatherproof sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e printed on UV-laminated vinyl designed to survive rain, sun, and tears of laughter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"5463\" data-end=\"5466\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"5468\" data-end=\"5524\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5472\" data-end=\"5522\"\u003e2. Can I put it on my car as a magnet instead?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5525\" data-end=\"5672\"\u003eYes! The \u003cstrong data-start=\"5534\" data-end=\"5548\"\u003ecar magnet\u003c\/strong\u003e option sticks like a dream but removes easily — ideal for commitment-phobes and people who sometimes have to look normal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"5674\" data-end=\"5677\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"5679\" data-end=\"5727\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5683\" data-end=\"5725\"\u003e3. Will people get mad at me for this?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5728\" data-end=\"5924\"\u003eOh, definitely. And that’s half the fun. This \u003cstrong data-start=\"5774\" data-end=\"5798\"\u003efunny bumper sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e isn’t for the faint of heart — it’s for the bold, the unfiltered, and the spiritually exhausted Marlboro enjoyers among us.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5728\" data-end=\"5924\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5728\" data-end=\"5924\"\u003eDad jokes... but better.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"5926\" data-end=\"5929\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.frogmustardstickers.com\/collections\/all\" target=\"_self\"\u003eShop All\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/frogmustardstickers\" target=\"_self\"\u003eFollow us on Instagram\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Frog Mustard Stickers","offers":[{"title":"Sticker","offer_id":47965040869428,"sku":"Marlboro Sticker","price":10.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard Magnet","offer_id":47965040902196,"sku":"Marlboro Magnet","price":14.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Thick Magnet","offer_id":47965040934964,"sku":"sku-51535806759191","price":16.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0581\/8859\/5252\/files\/sucking-dick-id-rather-be-sucking-down-marlboro-cigarettes-and-dick-9069742.jpg?v=1782760664","url":"https:\/\/gotfunnymerch.com\/en-gb\/products\/sucking-dick-i-d-rather-be-sucking-down-marlboro-cigarettes-and-dick","provider":"Got Funny?","version":"1.0","type":"link"}